Oh my goodness it’s that time again… Scan day is tomorrow, and for those of you following my journey and wondering why a scan in February instead of March…. well yes it’s only been 5 months. I moved it up a month because, well, I just wanted to know.
For the better part of the last three years my life has been broken up into segments. Those segments have been dictated by the PET scan days and it’s like I am mentally back in college, wondering if I prepared enough for the big test! At times the “scanxiety” is much like that dream, when you realize its the day of the test and you didn’t go to class all semester!
I decided to move up my scan because back in November I was feeling around in my neck area and noticed an enlarged lymph node under my right ear. It had me a little worried, so I got it scanned and they said it was normal. But since I have slacked a little and enjoyed life a lot more since September, it’s definitely in the back of my mind.
It’s kind of a good and bad thing for me to hear those words “you’re cured” because the inevitable happened. I started feeling like I was good, I slacked off on a lot of self care, I de-prioritized rest, stress management, and started taking on more which left less time for the things I was “supposed ” to be doing.
That’s when I realized that healing cancer isn’t a destination… it’s a journey. And living a life to heal the body is a constant balance of effort, faith, happiness, and a positive outlook. Of course I still juice, I still eat a lot of vegetables and pretty much avoid all meat, but these last 5 months I let myself eat more cooked foods, cheat on healthy protein bars (sweetened with dates), eat granola, eat pizza occasionally to the point that I feel guilty about it! Though I have to admit, my happiness factor went way up ☺️.
I mean… how can you go to the Dumpling House with this crew and not eat any dumplings???
That picture was from the holidays with my family. It was so nice to be together and for once I wasn’t packing a kale salad 😆.
Tomorrow is my PET scan, and as always, I am praying for all things to be stable. I know it will be on a different machine, so I am a little nervous that we won’t have an apples to apples comparison. Given all the reasons I just stated above, It will be a miracle if things are all still good. But the view from here is good because I’ve been stable for two years and I know how to manage this thing.
No matter what, I have to take it one day at a time and trust that God is with me every step of the way. It certainly puts the silly things into perspective and I am grateful for my life including all the peaks and valleys.