It was one year ago today that we received my formal cancer diagnosis. I couldn’t have scripted a more interesting cancer journey full of so many ups and downs. I have been so busy these last two weeks engrossed in the most amazing “normalcy” that I have ever experienced. I am so grateful that I was here to spend Halloween with the girls. Last year I went into the ER to check out the pain in my abdomen thinking that it would be a quick fix, but got stuck in the hospital on Halloween and missed out on the planned evening of fun. I don’t know how better to say it, except that it sucked… big time.
This year however, was great. Actually, it was better than great. Trinity had a “trunk or treat” event at her dance studio over the weekend which was way fun. Kaitlyn and I have been obsessed with the Netflix show “Stranger Things” so we went with that theme. We were quite proud of the handiwork we threw together just hours before the event.
I have one more week before my next appointment at Stanford to do a CT scan and see what’s going on.. Not only have I incorporated the bitter leaves from Nigeria and the Moringa seeds, but I have just about overhauled my diet eliminating all processed sugar, daily coffee, dairy, alcohol, meat (except the occasional fish), and most grains. I am eating only organic green smoothies, vegetables and low glycemic fruits, beans, salads, essiac tea, all kinds of supplements I can hardly keep track of all of them. And my latest discovery … the coffee enema! YUP. I’ll save the details for the book, but apparently it is the best way to detox your liver.
I have been doing this since I returned home two and a half weeks ago and I definitely went through a period of self-pity shortly after my week of being depressed after the bad news from the PET scan. But I honestly feel great and my energy levels are good. I am able to be home and run my house and kids pretty much like before for which I value so much more than the things that I have given up.
I have finally taken my nutrition and the toxicity in my body really seriously. I used to coach people through nutritional cleansing which was great and I felt like I was definitely healthier than the majority of people, but I still had toxic cleaners, soaps, lotions, candles, etc. in my house and I still ate out and occasionally enjoyed things that weren’t good for me. I didn’t rest (almost ever) and I think my body was just tapped out. My immune system was so overloaded and the result was CANCER. It wasn’t just random bad luck. My lifestyle and exposure to toxins definitely had something to do with it. I say that not to beat myself up, but more so to feel empowered. If my lifestyle had something to do with it, then maybe (hopefully) I have some control over what happens now. Relying on western medicine hasn’t been enough.
I watched these videos from a guy named Chris Wark. (www.chrisbeatcancer.com) and bought his program on how to heal yourself through nutrition and lifestyle changes. He is extremely knowledgeable and extreme in his methods, but right now I need extreme. I am so tired of chemo, medications, hospitals, and mostly just being away from my family. I am willing to do whatever it takes. Not only have I changed things nutritionally, but also changed out the household products to non-toxic laundry detergents, soaps, lotions, sanitizers, cleaners, etc. I feel like a science fair project to see if this has any impact on the cancer.
Recently, I have had a few people (Auntie Carol and Uncle Richard, and my old Frito-Lay friend Delfina) reach out to me and offer so much encouraging advice as well as sending me books and supplements. I appreciate it so much. Today my dear friend Shelley asked if I was just starving all the time, and honestly the answer is no. I think my body is getting what it needs and doesn’t crave anything anymore and honestly my digestive system feels happy too. Doing a radical change is certainly not for everyone, but I think it would be good for anyone to try for even 3 weeks, you’ll see an amazing result in how you feel. I’ve lost 6 pounds too which is a nice bonus.
Thank you to everyone who is following my story, texting, snapchatting, calling and praying for me. All those good vibes make it all the way to my core and are helping me in unimaginable ways.
My prayer is that next week my disease is just stable or better, that’s all. I could honestly just live with it for the rest of my life if I had to. Today I feel fine and if there weren’t scans telling me that I had a tumor, I would never even know that I was sick. I am grateful that I can say that.
On a lighter note, I will share a funny story from the morning of Halloween. It’s memories like these that are priceless and make me so grateful for the time that I have at home.
Addison, who is nine, wakes up on Halloween morning and says, “Mom, I can’t find my orange Halloween shirt that has the candy corn on it in the shape of a heart.”
Me: “Well, uh, do you have any orange shirts?”
All the while I am wracking my brain trying to think of any orange shirts in our house period. I realized that the shirt she was referring to I cleared out months ago and gave it to her best friend Ava (who meets her at the bus stop every morning).
Me: “Well, sorry honey.”
MOM FAIL. I was counting the many times I walked by Halloween shirts over the last two weeks.
I was testing the waters here. Do I offer to rush her to the store to buy a special shirt for the day or will she just blow it off and be okay with it? The look of disappointment on her face when I said that was all I needed to see.
Me: “Okay, well we can drop off Trinity at the bus stop and go by Fry’s to get you one.”
So we dropped Trinity off at the bus stop, and of course there was Ava looking cute as ever… in the orange shirt with the candy corn on it … LOL. We ran to the store and saw one rack of adult Halloween shirts that said “Eat, Drink and be Scary”(um, not appropriate). As we scoured the entire Halloween section to find not one kids Halloween shirt, I was getting desperate. I silently prayed, “dear Jesus… PLEASE let there be at least one shirt for Addy.” We walked toward the front of the store and I went by the back side of the rack with the first shirts we saw and lo and behold there it was. A cute black shirt that said “Pumpkin Spice Everything”… it was perfect. And they had a Small! 😊
We got the shirts AND picked up donuts for her friends and teachers to bring to school (I know I know, after all that talk about nutrition too… please don’t judge). We were able to turn a tragedy into a triumph and I earned some “Awesome Mom” points all within the span of an hour. Whew!
See, God does answer prayers. No matter how small.
On that note, I thank you all for continued thoughts and prayers. I know God just hasn’t answered our prayers YET, but I am confident that He will.
“Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” Romans 10:11
Onward and Upward.